Going Forward
Yesterday, while tightly embracing a friend I said, “happy new year!” I realize it’s February but it’s still winter and this time of year always feels like one long pause or at least a slow moving stillness. And so I still say happy new year to those I haven’t yet hugged this year. Or maybe more accurately I could proclaim, happy winter or happy stillness. Seeing as this is my first post in 2025 let me offer a warm embrace while gently and enthusiastically proclaiming, happy new year, happy winter, happy stillness, happy barebranch season, happy hibernation.
I feel the obvious dissonance when I write of stillness and hibernation in the midst of the daily (more accurately - constant) onslaught of news. The noise is deafening as it continues to announce all the ways in which we are making steps away from what I value most - love, care for the earth and the people who live on it, justice, and kindness. It’s enough to flatten me on the couch or leave me in the fetal position rocking back and forth in a corner. But I refuse to let it. So going forward this is how I plan to resist despair and overwhelm and how I want to show up for myself, for my family, for my local community, and for you all.
Create more than I consume. This has become my mantra for 2025. Those close to me are likely already tired of hearing me talk about this but one month in and I am already feeling the massive shift happening as I live into this intention. I am happiest when I am creating. At the core that is what I truly believe I am put on this earth to do. The vagueness of this vocation has honestly been maddening at times. As has my unending interest in pretty much all artistic endeavors. There are very few hobbies that exist that I wouldn’t at the very least be interested in trying once. I just googled a list of hobbies to see if any came up that I wouldn’t try and the only one that gave me pause was Numismatics, which apparently is the study or collection of currency. I’m comfortable saying that I’d be fine if I never try that BUT don’t hold me to that. Even though I know I am here to create, I spend so much time ingesting the creations of others. At times this is inspiring but overconsumption can leave me feeling like I’m lacking or I become too exhausted to create. I get overstimulated or simply feel inadequate to create what I just saw while scrolling through my feed. What I’ve come to notice is that creating begets creating and I’m finding that the more time I carve out to write, paint, cook, crochet, weave, sew, forage, preserve, dye, garden, sculpt (I wasn’t kidding), etc., I want more of it. As I started to live embody this intention for the year I thought that it primarily related to my consumption of online content but as I’ve lived into this I realized it’s also about me as a consumer - how I shop for clothes, food, etc. I declared January a “no buy” month (with the exception of groceries for my family and a few inexpensive experiences). It was a great reset for me and honestly gave me a bit of my brain space back as I removed the possibility of needing to ask myself if I “need” this or that. It simply wasn’t an option and I very easily made do with what I already own.
Sleep & rest. I am nothing without a good night's sleep - The irony of writing this having been awake for hours in the middle of last night. When I don’t get a good night’s rest my perspective feels shaky, the world appears more dim and I move like cold honey clinging to the bottom of the plastic bear. This also includes rest. I resist the culture that praises the constant hustle and I instead embrace times when I check out and just rest.
Be in community. As I’ve been reflecting on my body of work throughout my career one of the clear throughlines has been my desire to help others in connection. With my first book it was about connecting and staying in connection in your relationship. With my second it was all about family and friends. With my third and fourth they were about encouraging a deeper connection with the earth. I know this work is vital but it’s hard for me to keep that in perspective when again, it feels like there are massive shifts happening that are in direct opposition to intimate connection. Which is why gathering in community is a form of resistance. Connection fights against despair, depression, anxiety, overwhelm and complacency. When we connect we remind ourselves that we are not alone in our struggles, in our joys, in our shared frustrations and delights of having three teenagers in the house who think you are so very out of touch (just, you know, for example). We need each other. I need each of you to help bolster me when I’m feeling lost and I hope that there are times when I can do the same for you.
Forage for joy, beauty, and delight. I am through and through a treasure hunter. Sometimes that looks like a walk in the damp woods seeking apricot scented chanterelles, sometimes it’s clear agates on a pebbled beach, or sometimes it’s a hunt for joy, beauty, and delight. Unlike mushroom hunting, when you set out to find beauty you will always find it. Joy and delight are right there with her. I’ve read the books and seen the memes and have read many essays from others more well spoken than I - they share the message that joy is resistance. I believe it in far off places of my inner knowing and yet I need daily reminders that this too is part of the work. That my joy and delight do far more for the collective than my despair. As a deeply feeling person it’s hard to not feel weighed down by the suffering of so many, and I allow myself to feel these and do what I can to ease their suffering and then I go back into my hunting, seeking that which brings me delight. This could be a coffee date with another creative, some time spent with my paints and blank page, a walk on a icy, blue sky day when the mountains show off their brilliant white winter coat, or curled up on the couch tucked in between two dogs with a good book or a funny show on my laptop. Sometimes it comes easily, other times it takes work, always it’s necessary. It’s part of the work I want to do here. To do what I can through my words, recipes, resource sharing, that might help you in finding a little bit more delight, joy and beauty in your day.
Mary Oliver said it best and with just the perfect amount of words:
“Instructions for living a life.
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.”
That is what I commit to doing in this space and in my life and I hope and I trust that in doing so I will leave the world a little bit brighter than how I came to her. I hope that you find that safety and inspiration in this space to tell us about what you are paying attention to.
As always, thank you for being here.
I admire your writing, Ash - for its skill, and for its substance.
Thanks for sharing yourself with your readers.
As usual, your words were exactly what I needed to read today. Creating more than I consume hits me today, as I finally deleted my fb and prepare to delete my insta as well. Intentionality about consumerism as well.